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The Mad Pooper Strikes Again

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The Mad Pooper Strikes Again

Josh Killoran

The community of Colorado Springs is under siege by a diabolical villain – not even the Caped Crusaders could handle this foe. This dastardly devil has been dubbed the Mad Pooper. The Mad Pooper is a mysterious mischief-making woman that along her jogging route has stopped to dump logs all over a particular neighborhood. Even more odd is that she is targeting the yard of Cathy Budde more than the rest of her shit covered territory. The Mad Pooper appears to have no shame. She has been confronted by the Budde family, even the children caught her, however all she did was apologize and run off. She even reoffended after being caught(1). The big question behind this sinister scoundrel deeds is why repeatedly shit in peoples yards? Well, there's a fairly obvious answer to that question... she's an exhibitionist.

It is likely that the Mad Pooper is an exhibitionist. Exhibitionism is a particular fetish that compels exhibitionists to expose themselves publicly. However because it effects the public it has been reclassified from fetish to a psychological disorder. Under the current version of the DSM it is classified under paraphilic disorders and has been renamed Exhibitionistic Disorder. This disorder is marked by the impulse to, and/or fantasies of flashing their genitals to unconsenting people in unsuspecting situations. Like all the other paraphilic disorders Exhibitionistic Disorder has atypical sexual arousal patterns that results with a enough distress to impact the exhibitionist's daily life. To be diagnosed with this dastardly disorder the subject must have recurring urges to expose their genitals to the public for at least six months. It's estimated that between two-four percent of the men on Earth have this affliction, it's less prevalent in women but still exists. Even the small amount of people that have to deal with this condition rarely seek treatment for it until they're caught and forced to – treatment is possible after all. Such treatment is typically a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been shown to be very effective especially when used in tandem with SSRIs(2). It would seem that the maniacal Mad Pooper has not been caught often enough to enter into this therapy for her obvious condition.

Now you may be asking yourself, how does this disorder apply to the Mad Pooper? The best known symptom that is associated with Exhibitionistic Disorder is flashing your genitals to unsuspecting strangers in order to satisfy a sexual urge. The Mad Pooper has simply taken her game to the next level. She is flashing her asshole to entire families as she pushes huge logs of shit onto their lawns. I would say that the asshole counts as a sexual organ due to the fact that plenty of people get fucked up the ass – anal sex still counts. The reason behind most crimes is either sex or money. While this is a minor crime, it would make most sense that the Mad Pooper would have one of those motives. Since I don't see how she would make money out of this public shitting escapade it's more likely that her motive is sex. Making her being an exhibitionist all the more likely. Now that we have a diagnosis for the devious Mad Pooper she needs to be caught and taken to Arkham Asylum where she can receive a healthy dose of CBT and SSRIs – or the people of Colorado Springs can learn to live with surprise public shitting. Although that last option seems unlikely.

  1. “'Mad Pooper' On The Run In Colorado... Leaves Gross Trail,” accessed on September, 19, 2017,

  2. “Exhibitionism,” accessed on September 19, 2017,