Well ladies and gentlemen, it has been 7 days since I started my NoFap Style Challenge. I am challenging myself to go 90 days without the use of pornography. I have noticed some major differences in my masturbation habits; even though it has been a short amount of time.
I do think that I should point something out. I started masturbating at the tender age of 13. I learned how to masturbate by watching a woman jerk a cock during a cum-shot. Since the beginning of my masturbation career I have used porn to get turned on. Since starting my NoFap Style Challenge I have masturbated once. In the past I cranked out loads at least 3 times a week, if not daily (all with the use of porn). The reason that I jerked off during the last week was to stop a pain in my balls similar to blue balls. This decrease in desire to cum has forced me to meditate on my porn use.
I have come to a realization in the past week. In the last 13 years porn has become an On/Off switch for my cock. I don't know when but somewhere along the way porn stopped being erotic and became functional for me; a mere tool of masturbation. The actual act of jerking off without porn was more difficult than I thought it would be. It took me a couple minutes of fondling my cock to get hard and I was hyper aware of everything going on around me. I was getting distracted by the sound of traffic outside, a mosquito in my room, etc. When I watch porn I become engrossed by the actors' performance. The rest of the world ceases to matter until I cum. That part of masturbation, that I had become so accustomed to, was completely missing. It took more concentration than I thought it would to block out the rest of the world until I finished. It never occurred to me how dependent I had become on porn.
Realizing how dependent I had become on porn for cock cranking did worry me. I don't how much porn has bled into the rest of my habits, but I have to assume it has to some extent. I have never had a strong craving for the love of another person. Is that because I always a video of sex to stand in as a substitute? I don't know just yet. I'm interested to see what the following weeks will bring in this challenge. Wish me luck!